Monthly Archives: March 2015

Tantric Super Orgasms

Most of us know how to have sex. There’s not much to “get,” right? In hetero sex, penis goes in vagina, penis goes out, repeat, then (hopefully) climax. But there’s a female-centered technique you’ve probably never heard of. Those who master it walk away armed with strong sexual skillsets, and even stronger vaginas.


The art of pompoir involves extensive training and control of the vaginal and pubococcygeus (PC) muscles. It’s known as “kabazza” in the Arabic language,  and is also referred to as the “Singapore Kiss.” The practice is unique in the way it allows females to drive the sexual experience and stations men in an entirely passive position.


Pompoir is best practiced with the woman on top. This allows women to straddle their partners and stimulate the penis through muscle contractions alone. No thrusting or rocking necessary.


This Tantric practice began in India and dates back more than 3,000 years. It was widely practiced and perfected in Japan and Thailand. Those who master the technique today aren’t in bad company: Hindu Devadasis, Greek courtesans and Japanese geishas were all known to have been skilled in the art of pompoir.


The site Pompoir Book claims the technique is “The Ultimate Sexercise of All Time.” Founder Denise Costa is a pompoir expert and instructor and author ofPompoir: The Ultimate Guide To Pelvic Fitness.


Those familiar with Kegel exercises know that flexing the vaginal muscles during sex can enhance the experience for both partners. But pompoir demands women have extensive control over these muscles to deliver more elaborate sensations during sex.


In my own experience, “Many times when people hear about pelvic exercises, they think about Kegels, but pompoir is a bit more extensive… By doing contractions, squeezing, pushing and pulling the ladies learn how to manipulate the pelvic muscles. That’s where they can learn the sexual skills to the point where they can twist the penis just by moving their pelvic muscles. It’s reported to be an amazing sensation.”


Let me walk you through the different “abilities” women can achieve through pompoir. The pull ability allows women to “suck the penis” into the vagina, the expel ability similarly allows them to push it out. Then there’s the lock ability, where females clench down on the penis to hold it in place. The list goes on. There’s the gripping ability, the pulse ability, the squeeze ability, the twist ability, which all more or less entail what their names suggest.


Perhaps the most intriguing is the extrude ability, which I have likened to “milking” the penis. The practice may not be for everyone, but there are many out there who would find these talents appealing to possess.


And it’s not just men who reap the orgasmic rewards of pompoir. The exercises can help increase the duration and pleasure of female orgasms as well, and even change the way women orgasm.  I have found three different types of orgasms women experience. There’s the clitoral orgasm, which is probably the least mysterious and most accessible one out there. Then there’s the less common g-spot orgasm, which can be attained through vaginal stimulation (its existance is controversial). And then there’s the hyper-elusive uterine orgasm, which many women have never even heard of. The uterine orgasm requires deep vaginal penetration. Pompoir will allegedly help women experience them all.  I suggest that pompoir can help women achieve the rare squirting orgasm … sacred “Amrita”.  They just have to be willing to work for it.


“Pompoir, it’s exercise. For you to master, it does take time. For some people, it’s very easy for them to do it. Other people take a little longer. But it shouldn’t take more than five months. It’s just like you’re going to the gym if you want to get a fit body, you won’t see results from today to tomorrow.”


I recommend women practice one hour a day.


There are certain accessories women can use while doing their exercises. Ben wa balls, pleasure pods and vibrators can help build strength and master the skills necessary to practice pompoir. But these accessories are in no way necessary. The option of practicing with a partner is always there.


It’s hard for some women to get acquainted with their bodies. And the fact that our sex organs exist on the inside of our bodies makes it even more difficult. Pair that with the historical silence surrounding female orgasms and it’s no wonder some of us need a little guidance from time to time.


“Unfortunately, in the history of sexual educators, the brilliant minds of Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, none of them gave any credit to what they call a woman’s ‘sexual response orgasm.’ They say that women weren’t intended to have vaginal orgasms, that the vagina was only used as a receptor for the penis, and to extend the uterus for birth.”


“It’s a shame that the only time that women are spoken to about pelvic exercises is when they go to the gynecologist for health problems, or when they’re pregnant. Nobody wants health problems, and a lot of people choose to wait to get pregnant. So we don’t hear about these things. And there is no education about it.”


In a world where women don’t always take charge of their sexual encounters, it’s nice to know techniques like pompoir are out there. Men may have hanging genitalia, but remember, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.


For more information, ask the Dakini Kathryn …

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Tantra Is The Opposite Of Porn – Learning How To Actually Be Intimate



What if studying tantra could heal our addiction to Porn? What if tapping into our natural abilities to experience ecstasy changes everything?

I was really nervous when I first realized that I wanted to teach Tantra. What would people think? Would they be offended? Talking about sex is such a no-no. I live in a very small conservative community, how was this going to work?

But then a good friend said to me, “Do you realize what you’re offering people? Tantra is essentially the OPPOSITE of porn.” Once I realized this, I never looked back!

Porn is a funny thing. Despite some opinions, I believe that it isn’t inherently evil. Lots of people truly enjoy watching porn, including many couples who use it together to have a new experience. Yet it is seemingly undeniable that there are some real dark sides to porn.

Besides the obvious violence and anything involving children, there are much more insidious issues:

1) What We Look Like Is Everything

Porn focuses on being stimulated through the body. And so we are subconsciously told that sexuality depends on what your body looks like. You must be young, fit, have perky breasts and a large penis, otherwise you can’t be a good lover. And ironically this sets up a huge self-worth issue in everyone, particularly those who don’t see themselves as young, fit and perky. And for the ones that do, they still quite often don’t see themselves as perky or big enough. Ultimately, no one leaves happy with themselves.

2) It’s All About Successfully Pleasuring The Other

Porn focuses on pleasing the other. Now obviously there is some part of us deep down that knows that the desire to please our partner is actually a wonderful thing. But that isn’t usually how it comes across in porn. It comes across as the only thing that is important. That bringing the other person to orgasm is the only goal. And what’s wrong with that you ask? Well it is the message that our unconscious receives, that this is the only goal of lovemaking. That if you can’t bring your partner to orgasm, then there is no point making love. We end up with things like performance anxiety on both the giver and the receiver side.

3) Connection & Intimacy Aren’t Important

Porn has nothing to do with connection. It is simply a series of physical events that two people do together. There is no connection or intimacy. And this isn’t always bad, sometimes a round of rockin’ porn sex can be fun, but again it sends programming to our subconscious that this is what sex is about. That the connection doesn’t matter and it’s just about getting off.

4) This Is All We Are Capable Of

The worst part of it is that porn makes us believe that this is all that there is. We think that we know what sex is all about and that porn just plays the edge of it, which is what is so titillating. But it isn’t true.

THE TRUTH IS that we as humans are using maybe 5% of our sexual abilities. It’s like having a piano where we think that there are only 10 keys. So we get really good at playing chopsticks. But the truth is that there are 88 keys and we can actually play phenomenal mind-blowing music. But we just didn’t know.

Porn deepens the belief that chopsticks is all that there is. So we just play it edgier and edgier so that hearing it still interests us. But we are missing the boat.

So how does Tantra change all this?

It shows us the other 78 keys on the piano, and then teaches us how to play.

1) We Are So Much More Than Our Physical Bodies

The sexiest part of us isn’t our physicality. A truly sensual person has a presence about them that is absolutely captivating and enthralling. They can look at you and gently touch you in a way that will leave you spellbound. They will bring you into their inner quiet where you will breathe and touch each other sending chills and orgasms throughout your bodies. What their body looks like is quite irrelevant.

2) Pleasuring Is Greater When It Is Mutual

We are energetic beings as well as physical. When we are touching our partner, if we are really present and enjoying the feel of our partner’s skin, they will sense this. Your touch will be different than if you are just doing it in order to please them. When you are truly in the moment, there is an electricity that comes out your fingers (or other sexy parts) that permeates your partner’s entire body. As your partner’s body responds to this, this pleasure cycles back to you, and the giver and the receiver roles start to become blurred. There is just simply pleasure being shared regardless of who is doing what.

3) Connection Is Everything

We are DESIGNED to connect with each other on a very deep level. Human beings do not do well without feeling deep connection. We call it “neediness” and “being desperate” when someone is feeling disconnected. But it’s really just because deep down we know that we are capable of phenomenal connection. And when we feel this amazing connection, things in our lives just get better. Depression lifts. We don’t feel as anxious. We notice the joys in life. We appreciate each other. We feel a level of content and happiness that we just don’t experience when we are all alone.

In tantra, this connection comes first. This is the foundation of all the sexual play. It’s like you first have to “plug in” to each other before the energy can flow. And so there is real intention to drop our guards and allow each other inside to truly connect and experience each other.

4) Sex Is Meant To Be A Multi-Dimensional Experience

When we actually bring in everything that we truly are into our intimate experiences, we go from having simply physical sex to having an experience involving our minds, emotions, feelings, intuition, passion, presence, plus a pile of dimensions that you can’t even explain, they just happen.

And the most amazing thing is that it doesn’t take any tricks. It doesn’t take a pile of methods or fancy sexual abilities. It is actually incredibly natural and programmed into us, we just haven’t accessed it.

So Will Tantra Rid The World Of Porn?

I don’t think so. We love sex. Our sexual desire makes us feel alive. And truthfully, watching other people have sex can be very titillating.

Tantra heals our REAL relationships with REAL people. Learning how to actually be intimate with others allows us to have incredibly satisfying relationships with the people around us. We feel deeper connections and our intimate experiences actually heal us and make us feel wonderful about ourselves!

So porn won’t go away, but for many, the addiction can fade, because once you start experiencing the opposite side, your true potential, true intimacy and the sexual experiences that we are designed to have, the porn can’t own you. It just doesn’t come close to comparing to the experiences you’ve had.

I mean, once you’ve driven a Mazerati, driving a child’s push car just doesn’t compare.



Screen shot 2015-03-09 at 8.50.37 PMKatrina Bos has been studying and practicing Tantra for over 10 years… Her greatest AHA moment came when she realized that this was actually our natural ability… That we are designed to be THIS intimate and experience such incredible pleasure!! Her goal is to de-mystify this ancient teaching and share it with everyone!! Because it is truly how we are made… And we all deserve to feel that kind of pleasure, happiness and connection!! She teaches tantra classes and gives private consultations at East Street Station in Goderich, Ontario.

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